I'm Livin' On Gatorade

New Room PMA

2010-03-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

New Room. Bigger, Better, Warmer and not with the Aupair Family.

On Having Read Beowulf

2010-03-09T05:54:00.000-08:00

It gets complicated when you decide to dedicate your time to either reading a fantasy novel or watching the Lord Of The Rings over and over again. It gets complicated because while i am watching The Two Towers for the second time in two days, i am checking facts on many official "Middle Earth" websites. I have also found myself consistently referencing my newly bookmarked map of Tolkien's Middle Earth.

This is a problem.

I think it is due to the fact i haven't really had a meal since saturday and it is tuesday.

On with the point:

Why is it that we read and watch so many books and movies which are basically about running away from evil on some kind of quest where danger is around every corner, but in real life the closest danger around the corner might me a patch of ice on the sidewalk someone didn't put salt on.

This makes living fairly boring and i wish i could do something about this... Does anyone have any ideas? Are there any dragons that need slaying? Does anyone need to be rescued from an evil king who has been under the spell of an even more evil wizard? I'm free and as of this thursday i am unemployed.

German Update 3.9.10

I was fired a few weeks ago and it was great. Although this basically meant i still had to work another 3 weeks and work twice as hard as i already did.

Previous Duties included:

Doing The Dishes
Making Food
Stacking Wood
Looking after a brat.

Post-Fired (From now on abbreviated as P.F.) Diego's duties:

Doing ALL of the dishes
Making ALL of the food, Which i BUY at the grocery store 3 miles away which i walk to.
Chopping all of the wood i stacked because it was cut too big.
Looking after a brat who now tells lies about me as soon as his mother gets home.
Paying for him and his friend to see "cloudy with a chance of meatballs" IN 3D
Watching him until 8 pm.

This is why my friends i have nightmares about haunted drumsticks.

Because it is the 9th and a Tuesday i only have two more days of working. I just found this out and i am very excited to not have to deal with the drama of a loser kid and his equally losing mother.

On Behalf of All of the Strength i can muster up from my magicial powers which reside in New England

Fuck you family. Thanks for nothing.

Until next time.

Your Diego.

Hey BLOGOSPHERE

2010-01-24T05:04:00.000-08:00

Well here is my first international post.

I have been living in Reusten, Germany for the past 22 days... I am an AuPair, which should mean that i do a moderate amount of work, however i end up doing more than i can even handle and suddenly i don't have any privacy and suddenly i have to entertain a 7 year old boy who has no interest in being nice for 8 hours.

I think that made sense.

Things about Germany which suck:

Sundays are literally the worst days ever here. NOTHING is open except for restaurants/bars.

People here generally have a red hot fire poker shoved up their ass and are very rude to me because of it even though i didn't put it up there.

The public transportation which by all germany stereotypes i know of should always be on time and be efficient is consistently late and sometimes the busses just don't come at all.

:End of List:

I could keep going, but i mean who wants to hear that shit.

I have definitely been doing better, but here is your wikipedia update you would rather read:

Cilantro is actually just the leaves of the coriander plant.

Stephen Spielberg is to blame for the PG-13 rating. Indiana Jones was rated PG originally, but people were upset at it's violence however it didn't quite deserve to be rated R which would have also meant lower box office sales. He suggested the rating of PG-13 and a child is born.. or a teenager? i don't know.

General Tso's Chicken was invented supposedly in New York City. General Tso however, died over 200 years ago. His remaining family when asked about the dish say that they have never heard of such a thing. It is not served in his hometown. He has never eaten it. Nor will he ever.

Aldi is an international supermarket chain based in Germany. It is owned by two brothers Theo and Karl Albrecht however, Theo owns Aldi Nord and Karl owns Aldi Sud. They are different. Theo is a weirdo and owns Trader Joe's and is the 9th richest person in the world. There hasn't been a photo taken of him supposedly since 1971.

I think thats it for today.

Much love,

Diego

Blue Footed Booby

2009-03-18T19:13:00.001-07:00

This is a nesting blue footed booby.

love,

diego perez

Media, PA

2009-03-17T22:53:00.000-07:00

Well... I'm here... In Media, PA. According to their official website:

"Media Borough is the County Seat of Delaware County, Pennsylvania. Located 12 miles (19 km) west of Philadelphia, Media was incorporated in 1850 when the court records were moved from Chester. From that point on, Media has been developed as a planned community with an infrastructure to support growth and commerce for years to come. Its active shopping districts, quiet residential streets, numerous civic and religious institutions, and convenient transportation facilities are all within easy walking distance of each other."

Well... I walked 2 miles to the bar tonight. Had a few drinks and met a very eccentric gay male named "jimmy".

Happy St. Patrick's Day you son of a bitches.

love,

diego

People Seriously Still Rave

2009-03-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

This seriously happened last night here in providence in 2009. I have never seen so many god damned black lights. Where do these people come from?

Pinball Machines i Forgot

2009-03-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

I forgot a few pinball machines here they are:

Scurvy Dog - Judge Dread. I don't think i can give a review of this game. It has "super scoring" and all kinds of nonsense. Also I can't see the fucking thing. If you are going to play this game bring a headlamp and put it on your head. This bar is alright. It's the scurvy.

The Red Fez - I recently wrote a review of Stern's Indiana Jones on the Internet Pinball Database. In this review i call it "quite possibly one of the worst games ever made". However i wouldn't be that hard on it. It is in fact a pinball machine in an alright location and on this past valentine's day i played it for a few hours with my mom. Get that multiball. over and over and over and over and over.

Previous Pinballs:

Hudson st market - Had a great electromechanical game called "Stampeed"

Firehouse 13 - had Time Warp which has Banana Flippers....

Pinball

2009-03-12T15:46:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to write a blog about pinball machines in Providence so here it is:

E & O Tap - Spiderman and The Dark Knight. Spiderman has a broken "Doc Ock" Multiball this is a total bummer. Also the tilt is a bit sensitive. This game is pretty alright. I wouldn't really play it unless it was somewhere where you can have a few beers in the meantime. Current Replay is at 29,000,000 i believe. The Dark Knight is a recent addition replacing the ever so horrible Indiana Jones. This game is alright better than spiderman, but again nothing special. Tilt is average and i think everything is working properly. Replay is 29,000,000 as well.

JavaSpeed Scooters - Currently have the best game in town i think which is Bram Stoker's Dracula. This game is great i think that is all i have to say about it. They also have the easily forgettable Road Kings and NASCAR. Also always on display is a broken The Shadow pinball machine.

White Electric - Currently has SafeCracker. A pretty weird game, which can be played multiplayer despite the rumor that it can't be. I think it'll be out of there soon. It shoots coins at you when you get inside of the middle of the "vault".

Fellini's Pizza - I heard that Attack From Mars is gone and now Lord Of The Rings is there. I haven't really seen this yet, but Lord Of The Rings is alright. It's no Attack From Mars.

Campus Pizza - No Good Gofers. This game blows.

New York System Smith St. - Popeye, this is probably the best location for a pinball machine in town. Popeye is mildly whack.

The Blackstone - This is in Pawtucket in the "hope artiste lofts". The atmosphere sucks, the drinks are expensive and their Monster Bash is truly "bashed".

I think thats all of em.

Dan Flavin and I at the Pearly Gates

2009-03-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

Oh Dan Flavin.

Your florescent garbage piles look even better when i am smiling next to them. Here is a picture of Dan and I in heaven. I hope you're doing alright up there. Who knew he would manifest himself into a tower of light.

I guess it's getting warmer out there.

Does anyone remember when George W. Bush said he was going to launch another space shuttle to the moon? What ever happened to that stupid idea? Instead we are stuck with the Kepler Mission which just launched a few days ago.

The Kepler Mission:

Nasa just launched a thing into space looking for "other earth-like planets" Sounds like bullshit to me. I think this is some Raelian conspiracy.

The Raelians:

Claim that they have human cloning technology and have done it.

I just recorded a song the other day. It isn't so exciting except that i wanted to try out Alvin Lucier's "I am sitting in a room" in a room filled with plants. For those of you not familiar with Alvin Lucier's "I am sitting in a room" this is it:

" I am sitting in a room different from the one you are in now. I am recording the sound of my speaking voice and I am going to play it back into the room again and again until the resonant frequencies of the room reinforce themselves so that any semblance of my speech, with perhaps the exception of rhythm, is destroyed. What you will hear, then, are the natural resonant frequencies of the room articulated by speech. I regard this activity not so much as a demonstration of a physical fact, but more as a way to smooth out any irregularities my speech might have."

This is a song written for plants using the room and plants to create it. I want to upload it onto here, but i have to accompany it with a movie, so the movie is of a cuttlefish communicating. I think that is all i have for today.

Enjoy.

Love,

diego

Batman: the Daaahk knight

2008-07-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

This movie was about the following things:

Heath Ledger

Anyways, what the fuck is with Christian Bale being the main character in movies which also were in the early '90s i.e. Batman and Terminator.

I saw this with every fucking dweeb possible tonight up at Cinemaworld.

I saw Green Lantern tattoos and people campaigning for Harvey Dent to be District Attorney.

I think i am again totally disappointed by this batman movie. I don't think i have any idea why anymore.

I guess i'd see it again.

It's mad fucking long.

Heard this conversation today:

Dude 1: "So where have you been man?"

Dude 2: "Iraq, i'm just home for a bit, but i'm going back"

Dude 1: "Whoa"

Dude 2: "What have you been up to?"

Dude 1: "Playing Call Of Duty"

Dr. Pepper: A wikipedia research essay by Diego Perez

Dr. Pepper was first made in 1885. It is currently owed by the "Dr. Pepper Snapple group".

The soda is distributed by either Coca-Cola (30% of the time) or Pepsi (30% of the time) and by the Snapple/dr pepper company the other 60 %. In Texas you can buy Dr. Pepper made with Imperial Sugar not High Fructose Corn Syrup. I once bought this particular Dr. Pepper in texas and the woman behind the counter said to me, "Well i'll be god dammed if this isn't the best soda water in Texas".

Goodnight everyone,

Diego

Paul Simon

2008-07-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

This is Jonathan Richman.

Paul Simon was born in Newark, New Jersey on October 13, 1941.

He is my favorite songwriter.

Lamborghini Diablo

2008-07-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

This is a Lamborghini LM-002 colloquially known as the "Rambo Lambo". This is probably the most hilarious thing i have ever seen. This was made from 1986-1992 and only 312 of these were made in that 6 years.

These were heavily marketed at rich Saudi Arabians... Does anyone else think this is totally insane?

A huge blow happened to me when i heard that Lamborghini is not only owned by Audi AG but they also do not make the Diablo anymore... This has apparently been true since 2001. Since then they have been making the elusive "Murciélago".

I also found out that Gus Van Sant made "finding forrester".

The Color Blue lies within 440-490 in the "wavelength"

I don't know what "Wavelength".

Now onto Bentley and Rolls Royce being the same company:

Rolls Royce became defunct in 1986. A company took over and in 1998 sold the company to Volkswagen for some crazy amount in the hundred millions. Volkswagen already owned Bentley at this point. For a while BMW was coveting this company and eventually took it from under Volkswagen's nose due to a complication in the following areas:

BMW had the rights to the Name

VW had the rights to the hood ornament and the grille.

Go figure...

Anyways BMW got what they wanted in 2003.

VW got to keep Bentley and everyone was happy.

BUDWEISER

There is this long on going stupid rant about how Budweiser is a rip off of some beer in europe called "Budweiser Budvar". I have to hear about this nonsense constantly from some Europhile i know.

Here is the scoop on that situation:

Budweiser was marketed by an Italian Immigrant in the late 1800s. We'll say specifically 1876. Now in Europe there was already a German company called "Budweiser Bier Burgerbrau" This company was established in 1795 almost 100 years before Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch). This is where things complicated and i totally lose touch with reality. In 1895 19 years after Budweiser is a brand in the United States a Czech company called "Budejovicky Budvar" pops up. For those of you who aren't familiar with how "Budejovicky" is Budweiser it's very complicated but just know that it is "Budweiser". Somehow this "Budejovicky" company wins a lawsuit and the "burgerbrau" mother fuckers don't say peep.

On a totally fucking crazy note Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch) was just bought by inBev, but furthermore they account for over 50 percent of the beers sold in the united states.

Thats all i've Wikipedia-ed today.

Goodnight Folks,

Diego